真愛家庭雜誌 第18期 (2004年08月) | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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家有青春女.獨白篇 █Sandra Chang 有時,我會對著少女雜誌的 面人物自慚形穢: Sometimes I get bummed out looking at cover girls: 「我不夠漂亮,不夠苗條。」 "I'm not pretty enough. Not thin enough." 「我得穿對衣服,趕上最新流行。」 "Need to wear the right clothes and the latest fashions." 我希望能對自己的外表感到滿意。 I wish I could just feel OK about the way I look. 有時,我很快樂,且不在乎別人怎麼指指點點。 Sometimes I'm happy, and I don't care what others think. 但有些時候,我卻很容易受同儕影響。 Other times, I'm easily influenced by my peers. 當別人不喜歡我,我就很難過, And I feel bad about myself when others don't like me, 或自覺不夠好。 Or make me feel that I'm not good enough. 有時,我喜歡跟大夥兒打成一片, Sometimes I want to be with others, 但有時我只想獨處。 But sometimes I really want to be alone. 連我自己都不了解自己, I don't even understand myself 因為我的心情變化莫測。 Since my mood changes all the time. 有時我努力表現優秀、聽話乖巧, Sometimes I try hard to excel and obey, 但許多時候我乾脆放棄, But many times I just give up, 因為標準實在太高, 'Cause the standards are so high 我父母怎麼樣也不會滿意的。 And my parents don't seem completely pleased anyway. 有時,我都快受不了了, Sometimes I feel overwhelmed 因為我承受太大壓力── Cause I'm under so much pressure- 得尋找正確的方向,得交到對的朋友, Gotta look the right way, hang out with the right people, 得維持好的成績,得申請到一流的大學。 Keep up the grades and get into the right college. 有時,我很想忘掉一切重負, Sometimes I want to forget all the pressures, 所以我拼命講電話、逛商場、寫電子郵件、 So I talk on the phone, go shopping, email, 上網、看電視或聽音樂⋯⋯ Surf the net, watch TV, or listen to music... 只要能逃離我自己的生活。 Anything to escape my own life. 有時,我不知道該怎麼辦, Sometimes I don't know what to do 當我的男朋友很想跟我共嚐禁果。 When my boyfriend pushes me to have sex; 我一直拒絕,但他堅持我若愛他,就要給他。 I keep saying "no" but he insists that I should if I love him. 但我深知,「真愛要等待」。 Yet I know from my heart, "true love waits". 有時,我跟朋友一起喝酒或抽煙, Sometimes, I'll drink with friends or smoke a joint 只為了麻醉自己、放鬆自己。 Just to numb out the stress and relax. 我知道那樣子不好,但它們能讓我覺得好過些, I know it's bad, but it makes me feel better 而且那是我最容易做到的事。 And it's the easiest thing to do. 有時,我希望成人願意試著瞭解我, Sometimes I wish that an adult would try to understand me 而不是一天到晚嘮叨、責罵或批評。 Without nagging or blaming or criticizing. 尤其當生活看來充滿艱難和困惑, Especially when life seems so hard and confusing, 我提醒自己要禱告。 I remind myself to pray. 有時我心想,上帝是否聽見我的禱告, Sometimes I wonder if God hears me, 或者祂就像我父母,忙得沒時間理我? Or if He's too busy for me like my parents are; 但即使我和父母在家裏吵吵鬧鬧, Even though we fight at home, 我知道爸媽愛我,為我付出許多許多。 I know my parents love me and put up with a lot from me. 有時,我就像個被寵壞的小女孩, Sometimes I act like a spoiled brat; 有人說那就是青春期, People say it's just puberty 所以我只是個情緒起伏不定的十幾歲少女。 And that I'm a normal teenage girl with her moods. 我期盼我能脫胎換骨長大成熟──而且要儘快! I hope I'll grow out of it sometime-soon! |
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